Motherhood 5 years ago

Mommy Guilt

So this has been weighing on me a lot recently and I thought today would be the perfect opportunity to discuss ‘mommy guilt’ (basically trying to find the balance between work and motherhood). When I was pregnant with Chloe, I told myself I’d go back to work right away. But once she was born, I realized that things weren’t the same anymore and Chloe became my #1 priority. I knew I couldn’t abandon my team or company, so for months I struggled with mommy guilt. I felt guilty when I was at working and not spending time with Chloe, but I also felt guilty when I was with Chloe and not working with my team. Accepting and dealing with mommy guilt is harder than I thought, amd there’s no cookie cutter answer, it’s all about finding a balance that works for you. Today I’ll be sharing with my mommy readers my 3 tips for dealing with mommy guilt!

1. Accept your Guilt

It’s good to know and understand your guilt. Once you accept it, you then have the power to do something about it. I’ve finally accepted what I’m capable of and what I’m able to provide for my team and family. It was (and still is!) a hard battle for me. And that’s not to say that I’ve figured it out by any means, but I feel like I’ve reached a much more comfortable place. Feeling guilty it’s totally okay and normal, but once you acknowledge that guilt, you’re able to take action against it.

2. Re-prioritize

It’s easy to over-exhaust yourself because you feel like you have to give 100% all the time, at home and in your career. When I started going back into the office, I hired my nanny (who is luckily my aunt) to come Monday – Friday so I could be with my team. It was when I took a 48 hour work trip to Sunstone to film a project with my team, everything was put into perspective. I was gone less than 48 hours, so when I came home at midnight and I went straight to Chloe to do her midnight feeding, and I realized that she had grown even such a short amount of time. It hit me then that I don’t want to miss watching Chloe grow up because of work. The next day I told my nanny to come in only three times a week, so that I can spend Tuesdays and Thursdays with Chloe. (Including the weekend that’s 4 out of 7 days I get with her!) MWF are the days I’m with my team working on projects and shooting in the office, but my team knows not to schedule me for anything on Tuesday & Thursday or they’ll come to my house to shoot. I have those days set aside for family time. Know that there are certain things you’re going to have to sacrifice, but the reward is going to be so much greater!

3. Cherish the time you do have

I understand that most working moms don’t have the luxury to go into work only a few days out of the week. Even now, when I step out of the house I feel sad that I don’t get to spend all day with Chloe, but I live for the time I get to spend with her, especially the weekend (which I’m sure you guys know considering she dominates my Snapchat!)

So if you’re suffering from Mommy Guilt, just know that it’s normal, and to take it one day at a time! If you have any tips on dealing with this issue, please let me know in the comments below. Lets continue to support, inspire, and encourage one another thru our own stories!

Credits:

Photography by Karen Rosalie