LIFESTYLE

A Letter to All Women

It’s so normal to feel pressure at any given age. It seems like with every stage of your life comes a new set of expectations (internally and externally). When I was in my 20’s, my parents asked me when I was going to get a boyfriend. After I got married, the question from them (and everyone else) quickly turned into “When are you going to have kids?” Then, not much longer after I had Chloe, the question evolved to: “when will you have your next kid?”

Beyond outside influences, I’ve found that so much of the pressure is actually self-inflicted. Whether you’re aware of it or not, there are a lot of unspoken rules that you’re expected to abide by through different stages of your life; especially as a woman.

With my birthday earlier this month, these ‘rules’ have really been weighing on me and what they mean to me which is why I’m so excited to be partnering up with SK-II in their #INeverExpire campaign. They created a moving short film about all the challenging societal norms and age-related stigmas and it really inspired me to change my outlook. I also enjoyed watching Chloe Bennet’s take on the short film over on Vanity Fair.

The idea is to no longer let society’s timeline put limitations on your life. To always be chasing an unrealistic expectation or ideal is exhausting. From when we should be finishing college, getting married, having children, being at a certain point in career, even down to when we should expect our first wrinkle and what to do about it- it seems like everything is a ticking time bomb set against us!

When I was pregnant with Chloe, I instantly began to worry that people would put me in this ‘mommy category’ and only view me as a mom and forget everything else I did leading up to my proud mommy moment but then I realized that these were pressures and expectations I put on myself. No one can make you feel inferior without you letting them. That sentence had never rung truer than at that moment to me. 


 

Who’s really to say that you should live according to someone else’s schedule? You’re in charge of your life and your timeline to do things. Go at your own pace and respect the journey that got you there.

We all try so hard to fit ourselves into some “metaphorical box” when in reality we can and should be defining our own destiny. I mean it’s our life to live, isn’t it? There’s a quote that says, “Never compare your chapter 1 to someone else’s chapter 20.” Everyone’s story is different- so embrace the journey you’re on and carve your own path.

So it’s time to change the narrative and start to live life on your own terms. Because #INeverExpire.

sigxo_chriselle

TELL US YOUR THOUGHTS!

29 Comments
  • Jackie Osborne says:

    Very inspirational! I always get nostalgic and a little melancholy around my birthday. It’s time to change that I think.

  • sara nena says:

    It is soooooooooooo right. thanx for sharing these thoughts

    http://7-sevendays.blogspot.it/

  • TLeah says:

    Such a beautiful story^^ #INeverExpire <3

  • Camille T says:

    Thank you for this inspiring letter. Having graduated from a double masters program in economics, now has arrived the time for me to find a job, which I don’t mind finding, but it’s tiresome to have everyone around me ask me if I found a job already, not to mention every job posting is telling me I should have two years of experience working in that field. This makes me worry that maybe it was a mistake to do that double master, which took place in two foreign countries, where getting an internship was not possible. I have to remind myself that whatever society, or even I, may think, that experience made me stronger, more independent, and allowed to make a childhood dream of mine come true: live in Tokyo. So, again, thank you for this letter, as now I know I am not alone to feel external and internal pressure to perform.

  • ES says:

    Beautifully written! Sometimes I feel your words are so different from your pictures. You sound so witty, elegant, unique and intelligent in your writing. But your pictures look like any other glamourous but heavily photoshopped modeling blogs. Which version is the true you? I would love to find out. or is that the essence being multi-facet human we all are?

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  • Annie says:

    This is such a beautiful letter. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts with us!

  • A Dollop A Day says:

    Amen to anything that involves the Women’s Movement!

  • Sabina Im says:

    I love how you shared your own insecurities and pressure with us. I always thought you had a picture perfect life but you raise an important issue that everyone goes through. We have to learn to accept ourselves and not allow others to define us.

  • Elizabeth T. says:

    Thank you so much for sharing this inspirational and positive message, Chriselle! 🙂 I totally agree with you – we never expire and we shouldn’t feel pressured by the “deadlines” that are given to us by society! Really loved the short film and the encouraging message from this post! <3

    XO, Elizabeth
    http://clothestoyouuu.com/

  • K says:

    That is so true

  • Chloe says:

    I LOVE this. For me, I’m spreading out my degree in a different way, so that it will take me longer – this means I have less workload, so I can work on my blog, and building career experience while I’m still studying. While I’m lucky that my parents understand and encourage this, not everyone feels the same and can be pretty vocal about it (even though it has literally nothing to do with them). This campaign is such an amazing, and needed, idea!

    Chloe x
    http://www.softoctobernight.com

  • Tiffany K. says:

    Thanks Chriselle for sharing this. I recently gave birth to my first born (I’m 36 years old), and all throughout my life people were asking me when I was going to finally have a baby. What I learned is I have to do things on my time, not someone else’s. And I’m so happy I did!

  • Katherine says:

    The social pressures put on women is absolutely absurd, and for a woman to be judged because of it is simply unfair. Cheers to you and this skincare brand in pointing out something that normally goes unnoticed.
    And while I’m here, out of all their products which do you like best? You have me now curious to try them out.

  • With all the pressures of getting a career the minute I graduate, I’ve been beyond overwhelmed with stress. I’m thankful you’ve taken the time to point this out and tell everyone it’s okay to slow down and do things at your own pace!

  • Kathrin says:

    That short film is really moving and thought provoking. It’s so easy to get caught up in others’ expectations for us and forget our own…

    Kathrin | Polar Bear Style

  • karla says:

    This is funny, just this week I was talking with one of the photographers a met in San Diego and she asked me “How old I was” I said 29 and she reply “Have you ever feel that is not ok to do what you di at your age” (FYI, I have a shoe company and a Fashion blog) And I say … “NOT AT ALL, there is no time limit or age to do what you love” And you shoud never ever feel that way. I hope she always remember that 💜
    Beautiful post

  • Chriselle, I felt so much reading this post. Right now I am 27 and at this point on my life think everybody, me included is expecting a lot from me. Thanks to this post, I think I need to reflect more on what I am doing, and what do I want for myself. Thank you so much for sharing! <3

  • Melissa Woolridge says:

    I’ve been using SKII for about two years, and now seeing what they’re doing with this video is really remarkable. I’m an even bigger fan now!

  • Natali says:

    You are such an inspiring, motivating and empowering woman! Thank you for the uplifting post!

    https://lartoffashion.com

  • Shloka says:

    Wow you are so right Chriselle – a lot of the times we get so worried about society putting us in a box, the pressure we put on ourselves does it instead and before anyone else can! this is so inspiring!!!

    x
    Shloka
    http://www.thesilksneaker.com

  • Great post Chriselle. I’m agree with all…….

    Today’s post is about a fantastic place here in Miami to enjoy a great meal…..
    http://mylovelypeople.com/2018/05/01/portobello-restaurant-a-place-where-i-always-come-back/

  • Susann says:

    Thank you Chriselle for this beautiful words. They really touched me. When I was 31 I lost my mom to cancer, a time all my friends got children and got married… for me this was not the time for something like this. I had hard years to find back to my life, my work und to enjoy time with friends again, enjoy life again… and I know all these questions from friends and family.
    I am still not married or a mommy und I’m 40 now. No questions from family and friends anymore. I’m often ask myself if I had miss the train or is still time for my own family? But he, its my own timeline, right? And whatever happens it will be ok. 🙂

  • This was so inspiring! I know exactly what you mean. Its taken my 1.5 years longer than the normal medical student to complete my degree. This because of various factors: illness, failed exams, etc. In the medical community, this is frowned upon and it has taken me a lot of work and self love to be able to accept that my journey is different but I’m still working towards the same goal. “I am not what happened to me, I am what I chose to become.”
    María Eugenia
    http://www.thegirlonanisland.com
    https://www.thegirlonanisland.com/2018/04/the-swimsuits-i-wore-on-vacation.html

  • Mireia says:

    Absolutely love it!

    Mireia from TGL
    https://thegoldlipstick.com/

  • […] With my birthday earlier this month, these ‘rules’ have really been weighing on me and what they mean to me which is why I’m so excited to be partnering up with SK-II in their #INeverExpire campaign. They created a moving short film about all the challenging societal norms and age-related stigmas and it really inspired me to change my outlook. from The Chriselle Factorhttp://thechrisellefactor.com/2018/05/a-letter-to-all-women/ […]

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