When I first moved out to Lalaland, I was about 18 years old and I fell into a dark dating hole called Tinder. And then Bumble. It’s safe to say that I’ve been on my fair share of dates in the last four years. I’ve had some awesome dates, met some really cool people, and had some awful dates and met some real a-holes in-between. But all in all, I’ve learned a lot about myself and gotten some really great and funny dating stories in the process.
Here’s what you have to understand about the dating scene in LA- it’s the epitome of hook-up culture. Everyone is trained to think that the grass is always greener and that there’s always something bigger and better around the corner. A cooler latte, a better view, a yummier avocado toast, a sicker party and a prettier person. No one wants to settle!
So today, I’m going to share 5 things I’ve learned about being single in Los Angeles, plus my three go-to date looks!
I actually wore this out on a Monday night and then to work the very next morning! It’s super casual, I feel really comfortable in it and it’s not fussy at all. A leather skirt (like this one) and a plain gray tee are two of my wardrobe staples. (I have an obscene amount of grey and black t-shirts.) Plus these lace up sandals (similar here) have been my go-to shoes all summer! (You might remember me wearing them in Madrid, here.)
If I go anywhere more ~fancy~ I go straight for all black. I’ve been able to get a lot of use out of this romper (similar here) from work events to my cousin’s wedding, and a few dates! I’ve worn it out once with a leather jacket and some flats and I’m wearing it here with some heeled sandals (shop similar here) and an oversized blazer. To dress it up, I pat some red lipstick on, and blend it into my lips for kind of like a stain.
I picked up this romper from the Zara sale a few weeks ago and it’s easily now one of my favorite pieces in my wardrobe. The wrap silhouette is really flattering and I love that I can dress it down with sneakers or sandals- or dress it up with a pair of heels. I may or may not be exclusively wearing this from now until I need to wear sweaters.
So for now, here’s what I’ve learned about being single in LA… I’m not going to lie, I felt kind of funny writing these things down. I’m in no way, shape, or form a “dating guru” but when presented with the prompt of things I’ve learned about being single- I was amazed at how quickly I created the list.
1. Say Yes More
Some of my favorite memories in LA- dates or not- have come from saying yes. About a year ago, a friend texted me at like 11 pm asking if I wanted to go out to a cool new bar in town- and even though I was legit crawling into bed ready to pass out, I said yes and ended up having one of the best nights ever and met some really cool people I’m still friends with to this day! I’m very much a homebody, and a good night to me usually entails popcorn popping, a good glass of wine (bottle) and a movie with a friend. But being open to new experiences and saying yes to things I wouldn’t normally do has really helped me become more confident and comfortable with myself.
2. Don’t Be Afraid to Say No
Saying yes is important, but so is saying no. Everything from taking a night in and doing absolutely nothing, to taking yourself out of a situation you feel uncomfortable in- saying no is totally okay.
3. Have an Open Mind but Trust Your Gut
I try to go into all of the dates I go on with an open mind, but I always trust my gut. If something about the guy or the situation is off- I know that’s my cue to send the SOS text to my BFF to get out of the date. I also always tell a few people that I’m going on a date and use the ‘find my friends’ app on my phone to share my location just in case.
4. Don’t Beat Your Self Up
If a date sucks, and it happens, I’ve learned not to beat myself up about it. Some people just don’t click when they finally meet and that’s okay. Even if I never want to see the guy ever again, I try to at least have a good time and learn something. It might sound weird, but I chalk it all up to experience (and usually a great story)!
5. Have Fun!
More so than anything, I’ve learned that you need to have fun. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself, or the person you’re out on the date with and have a good time. Even though it didn’t work out between us, I’m actually still really good friends with a couple of the guys I went out with.
So there you have it! The 5 things I’ve learned about being single in LA and my three go-to date outfits. Which look was your favorite? I might wear it on my next date 😉 Also, let me know what you’d like to see from me next, and keep your eye out for more of my content next month!